"You are not expected to set yourself on fire to keep others warm."
What came to your mind when you read that quote? Let me repeat - you are not expected to set yourself on fire to keep others warm. What does that mean to you? Pleasing people? Always saying "yes" to make someone happy? Striving to be the person everyone likes? Let's be honest. We all have people in our lives that we love to make happy. Family, spouses, partners, children, etc. We aren't saying to not care how those vital people in your circle feel! But, what we are talking about in this week's "spill the tea" is boundaries. Setting boundaries in life to protect your mental health, emotional energy, and physical limitations is so important. Again, we aren't advocating that you skip out on work, ignore responsibilities, or intentionally show disrespect to anyone. But, we encourage you to ask yourself the following questions when deciding when to say "No!"
- Is this something that is a negotiable question or situation?
- Are you being compensated for extra work or time?
- Is it going to bring you joy and peace?
- Will it negatively affect me or my loved ones?
- Do I have to sacrifice something else in my life if I say yes?
If you are a recovering "people pleaser" like a lot of us, this is a challenge! But, learning to say no can be very freeing. We leave you with one final quote to ponder this week.
"Your boundaries will only be a problem for those who don't respect them."
Published September 2022