Let’s get personal. It’s a hard thing for me to do, but I want you all to know the real me. After all, that’s what this is all about, right? I’ll start by prefacing this piece by saying that I’m really uncomfortable sharing details of my personal life. But exercise is all about stepping it up and getting out of your comfort zone… how hard can you push yourself; can you do just one more set; can you hold this squat for 15 more seconds even though your legs are on fire??? How can I expect you to push your limits if I don’t push mine? So here I am, writing about me, stepping out of my comfort zone, facing my fears, being honest, feeling vulnerable and hoping to be an inspiration to others.
I am afraid. I am afraid of so many things. I am so afraid that my stress level goes through the roof and sends me into full blown panic mode. I’m talking about the kind of panic mode where it’s hard to breathe, time gets frozen, my body literally shuts down and I can’t move. It would make for a cool movie scene (I’m thinking gun fights with slow motion bullet action), but in a real life scenario it’s quite scary. So why do I panic? What am I so afraid of? Why is my stress uncontrollable? The answer is simple: FEAR OF FAILING!
I stress myself out! Lately, I have been putting so much pressure on myself to meet deadlines that I created, start a program that I created, perfect a logo, pick the right music, portray the right image, etc. It’s overwhelming. There’s so much going on that I feel like I am losing myself. I’m second guessing all the decisions I’ve made. I’m wondering if all of this was a good idea. Is it worth it? Will people like it? Will it be understood? Will my concepts be laughed at? Will I be taken seriously? The list goes on and on and on and on…. And with all that building up inside me, I cracked. I stressed myself out. I panicked. I spent a day in bed doubting myself. I felt like I had failed before I even began.
Then something happened. I got over it! I was browsing Instagram and saw this meme:
It was just what I needed. I started to feel OK. A simple image changed my mind set. Things started coming back together just as easily as they fell apart. I instantly knew that even though I was feeling incredibly vulnerable and maybe making the biggest mistake of my career (and life) that I was in fact growing and becoming better. I’m learning to learn from my mistakes and move on. I don’t know what I can accomplish until I put myself out there. I have to take this risk and realize that I might not be everyone’s cup of tea. AND THAT’S OK! As long as I believe in myself and stay confident I can tackle anything – even a stress induced panic attack that sent me to the ER.
And I’m here to tell you that you are OK too. Whatever challenge you may be facing, be it work related; dealing with your kids; suffering a loss; problems with a pet; or you just can’t decide what to make for dinner, know that I believe in you! Let’s dive into this experience together! (And I might possibly dive into a bubble bath with a glass of bubbly).
Cheers to kicking that stress to the curb! xx